Guys, it’s not always about who’s right and who’s wrong.


We’ve all heard the saying…

“If Momma’s happy, everyone’s happy.”

While most of us know there is some truth to the old saying, it’s time we get past the cliche and look at why we as Christian men should be putting the needs and feelings of our wife before our own.

HINT: It’s not simply to keep your wife from  nagging you or so she’ll be in the mood later this evening.

There’s a much bigger and more powerful reason we should be closely guarding and protecting the feelings of our spouse.  So what’s the big reason?  Take a look at this…

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” Eph 5:25


You’ll notice that’s taken from Ephesians and if you weren’t positive, yes – that’s a book in the bible.  That’s right guys, we’ve been commanded by God to love our wife just as Jesus Christ loved the church – and gave himself for it.

Gave.  Himself.

“I love you” can be three easy words to say if you’re used to saying them.  You say it when you leave for work, when you end a phone call, and when you get ready for bed.  You say it without even thinking – like saying “bless you” after a sneeze.  But do we actually show our wife the love that Christ showed the church?  What does that even mean?

I was talking with a man this morning about the way he and I should love our wives and, after I referenced the above scripture, we discussed some of the things that come to mind when I think of how Jesus loved the church.   First, Jesus agreed to humble himself and become a human being.  He made the decision. At any time He technically could have backed out and said the relationship with mankind was too tough. He could have complained that too many of those He ministered to didn’t appreciate Him or that they continually let Him down or disappointed Him.  Jesus could have said that those around Him were not treating Him fairly and were acting selfishly, always wanting more healing, more food, or more deliverance.

But He didn’t.

Second, Jesus knew when He came to this earth that His ultimate responsibility was to become the sacrifice for all mankind.  With this in the back of His mind He could have walked around looking depressed and sad.  He may have still healed the sick and offered salvation, but done it begrudgingly, without love.  He was going to have to die for us, after all.  Wasn’t that enough?  He had to be here but He didn’t have to like it!

But He didn’t act like that.

Finally, when Peter and others let Him down and didn’t support Him in the hardest time of His life, He could have held a grudge.  When He resurrected from the dead, He could have went to Peter and said “I told you so.  I told you that you would betray me.”  He could have told the other disciples who ran that they were cowards and that they weren’t worthy to be His disciples.

But He didn’t do that either.

Jesus came to this earth by choice and then made a daily choice to keep loving those that were entrusted to Him.  Through the good and bad.  Through the dedication and betrayal.  Through the laughter and the tears.  Even to the laying down of His life for those He loves.  He made the choice and did not look for a reason to back out.  His relationship with us was more important to Him than His very life and health.

So guys, there’s our example.  That’s how we’re supposed to love our wives.  We show them love regardless of how we feel that day or how things went at the office.   We love them when we think they don’t appreciate the sacrifices we make.  When the relationship isn’t easy, when life isn’t fair, and when nothing is going our way – we love our wives.  We love them with a Christ-like love.

They need that from us.  Furthermore, they deserve it.

Many men say they would be willing to die for their wife – and they feel pretty good about that.  Probably because they figure they’ll never have to.  But let me ask you this…  Will you be willing to do something much tougher?  Will you sacrifice daily for your wife?

That’s how you really show her love.

And that’s how Christ loves the church.

Be the husband God has called you to be.  It’s all part of being a warrior.


Photo from MCAD Library on Flickr

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