10 Traits of Highly Effective Dads


I’ll start off by saying what you already know.  There is no silver bullet or magic potion when it comes to making great dads.  I wish it were that easy, as it could have saved me from many painful fatherhood fiascos.  Yet, we can gain great insights from Scripture and from gleaning from some godly fathers that have gone before us.

Over the past decade, I’ve been blessed to serve alongside men doing all they can to be the best dads they can be.  While each one of these men have their unique styles, they definitely share some common traits or focus points that make them effective within their fatherhood roles.  I have personally been blessed by being around these men and want to share some of the insights I’ve gained.

Some of these should be no-brainers.  However, if you’re like me, we sometimes need reminded of the basics.  My dad was great in driving this point home.  He often related this truth to sports.  However, the veracity of this maxim holds true in almost any area of life:  If something isn’t going well, make sure the fundamentals or basics are getting done.  Too often during life’s chaotic times, we forget the basics and pay the price.  As a matter of fact, I’ll go ahead and include this fatherhood truism within our 10 Traits of Great Dads.

10 Traits of Effective Dads

  1. They keep their lives de-compartmentalized.  They are the same man, husband and father regardless of where and when.  This directly connects to the character of these men.  None are perfect, but I would trust everyone of them with my kids.
  2. They realize that their manhood and fatherhood is directly tied to their relationship with God.  This means time in God’s Word, time in prayer and time with God’s people is an essential part of their lives.
  3. If still married, they uphold their wives as their number one friend and co-worker in life.  They realize that loving their wives is one of the greatest things they could ever give their kids and they protect their marriage like it’s their life.
  4. They practice the discipline of meekness.  They exemplify the combination of humility and strength.   Men need to be strong for their families not at their families.  These great dads get this idea well.  In these homes, yelling and abuse of any kind is never tolerated.
  5. They’ve tied their hearts to the hearts of their children.  There is a very special God-given bond that they cherish and cultivate on a daily basis.  This means they are always looking to create heart-moments with their kids, especially when it comes to sharing God’s love and truth with them.

[Click here to read the rest of this great article by JT Waresak]

 

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What are the 2 biggest lies men are buying into?


Part of living an intentional life means diligently filtering what we are being told. Since men are bombarded by lies constantly, we must choose carefully what we are building the foundation of our marriage, our fathering, and our life upon.  On a daily basis we hear potentially destructive things like…

  1. You’re not hurting anyone else by doing that secret sin.
  2. Everyone cuts corners, it’s how business is done.
  3. It’s ok to look at women as long as you don’t act on your thoughts.

In this video Francis Chan shares two of the biggest lies we buy into today.  You’ll see the effect they have on many of the decisions we make – even how likely we are to accept the other lies that come our way.

What are these two big lies?  See if these sound familiar.

  1. I AM A GOOD PERSON.
  2. BECAUSE GOD IS A LOVING GOD HE WILL NOT PUNISH ME FOR MY SIN.

In 5 minutes Francis tells us why it is important to look to God’s Word for absolute truth and not to the world’s opinion.  While the world may make us feel better it leads to certain destruction.

After you watch, leave your thoughts in the comment area of this post.  Do you think these lies are destructive?  What are some of the other common lies you think men hear?

 

What Men Who Fail Have In Common


Original post by Patrick Morley can be found at www.patrickmorley.com

Working with men is my vocation, and I love it. However, every day I hear from men whose lives, marriages, and families are falling apart or barely hanging on. Often it’s because of emotional neglect–chasing some dream that didn’t include their families. Other times it’s because of mishandling money, substance-abuse, pornography, prostitution, lapses in integrity, and so on.

While there is no common denominator for why men fail, most of these men do tend to have one thing in common. If they are Christians, it is uncanny how most of these men were part of a small group they no longer attend. As a result, they have become isolated.

Isolation is the devil’s #1 strategy. Why? Because it’s so effective. We all know from the National Geographic Channel that the the lion never goes after the herd. The lion always attacks the stray…the one who has become isolated. That’s because every predator understands the strategic value of isolation–whether in the animal kingdom, human traffickers, or sexual predators.

Men are particularly vulnerable to this strategy of isolation. The reasons why men are so vulnerable is a different article, but what’s the solution? First Peter 5:8 puts it this way: “Stay alert! Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” Easily the best way for a man to execute 1 Peter 5:8 is to be part of a group–like the one they used to attend.

Are you actively part of a group? If so, congratulations. There is safety in numbers. If not, I exhort you as your brother to find, treasure, and fully appreciate a group of brothers with whom you can be honest, open, and vulnerable. While there’s no law that says you have to do such a thing, why wouldn’t you? Only because of the temptation to live in isolation – the isolation the devil adroitly deploys to dull our love for Jesus.

And if you are a leader, please, please, please build a sustainable ministry model in your church that encourages all of your men to get into small groups over time. Yes, pray for their families, preach them the Gospel, and pick them up when they fall. But make sure you don’t sentence them to try and live the Christian life in isolation. Because isolation is what men who fail have common.

Until every church disciples every man…

Pat